by teri-chan Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:04 am
AIDA - Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. A sales acronym, apparently useful to bear in mind.
AKA - also known as. Universally recognised and understood.
ALF - Always Listen First. Something most people don't do!
AWOL - Absent Without Leave. A military acronym, now applied to anyone who disappears.
BAB - Benefits Are Better. Rallying cry of some workshy individuals.
BIBOYS - Boss Is Back On Your Site. Time to close the paper and start work again.
BID - Break It Down. A training acronym, because you should never teach anyone everything at once. Well you can try, just to see if they can cope with it.
BLT - Bacon lettuce tomato. The essential sandwich to get through the day.
BMT - Before My Time. What a new recruit replies to 90% of the conversations with.
BOGOFF - Buy One Get One For Free. Marketing phrase. As in 'double the price, then offer a BOGOFF'.
BTW - By The Way. Another universally used and recognised abbreviation, fulled by email and electronic communications.
DINKY - Double Income No Kids Yet. Recognised by referring to their pet dog or cat as though it were a human. May also own property.
E&OE - Errors and Omissions Excepted. Another common one, used to disclaim any advert. Gist: whatever we said you can't sue us if it was wrong.
EBITDA - Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization. Finance speak, don't worry about it.
FAB - Features, Advantages, Benefits. If it sounds like a marketing acronym, then it probably is. The idea is no-one wants a car that goes fast and is red, they want to be able to amaze their friends and become more popular.
FEAR - Forget Everything And Run. The boss has just sold all his shares in the company.
FIFO - First In First Out. HR mantra. Allegedly also an accounting phrase.
FLK - Funny Looking Kid; doctors note.
FOC - Free Of Charge. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
GIGO - Garbage In Garbage Out. Computing term.
GROLI - Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence
HTTP - Hyper-Text Transfer Protocol. Look at the web site address.
IIP - Investors In People. Employers like to get this before their next bout of right-sizing.
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion. Commonly used, widely understood.
KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Applies to most things.
KPI - Key Performance Indicator. Business speak.
LIFO - Last In First Out Computing term.
LOBNAH - Lights On But Nobody's At Home. If you need this explained, you know you're a LOBNAH.
LOL - laughing out loud. Misleading because never accompanied with an audible laugh.
LOMBARD - Loads of Money but a Right Dipstick - from Sean.
MBWA - Management By Wandering Around. Estimated to describe 83% of managers.
NLP - Neuro-Linguistic Programming. If you visualise yourself scoring a goal, you'll score a goal. See WIT.
NIMBY - Not In My Back-Yard. What? Building an abbatoir? NIMBY.
NQR - Teaching term meaning 'Not Quite Right' - from Lewis Palin
OHP - Over-Head Projector. Antique equipment that was always strangely out of focus and too dim.
PEBKAC - Problem Exists Between the Keyboard And Chair.
PEST - Political, Economic, Social, Technological. Analysis you may be asked to perform at a job interview where ABC Co., Ltd are attempting global domination, but XYZ Corporation might get there first.
PICNIC - Problem In Chair Not In Computer. Computer support phrase for inept technological Luddites.
PITA - This stands for Pain In The A$$, which could be used to describe most people you know at some time or other! So next time someone's annoying you soften the blow and call them a PITA. You get to insult them and they won't know what you're on about...result! (From: Heather)
PUASU - Put Up and Shut Up. Gentle reminder to moaning staff as to their best course of action.
QUANGO - Quasi Autonomous Non-Governmental Organization. No, we've no idea what they contribute to society, either. But it sounds good, and that's the main thing right?
RADAR - Radio Detection And Ranging. Not actually a valid acronym but nevermind.
ROI - Return On Investment. Biz speak.
RTFM - Read The Fu**ing Manual. What to do before complaining something doesn't work. As used by women: Rotate the Fu**king Map, when talking to inept partner whilst lost in the middle of nowhere amidst cries of 'I know where we are honest'.
SITCOM - Single Income Two Children Oppressive Mortgage.
SLA - Service Level Agreement. Set it at 10,000 days and you'll never go wrong.
SOS - Save Our Souls
SWOT - Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. If you can't think what else to do, do a SWOT.
TANSTAAFL - There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TEAM - Together Everyone Achieves More. Thanks to Keiron.
TIC - Tongue in Cheek. Humour mitigation.
TLA - Three Letter Acronym. What every profession is full of, and obsessed with.
TLAR - That looks about right.
TMI - Too Much Information.
TWAIN - Technology Without An Interesting Name. This is genuinely the standard for scanners. You'll find scanners say they are TWAIN compliant, and that's what it means!
USP - Unique Selling Point. Why should I buy your product then?
WFH - Work From Home. AKA cutting the grass.
WIIFM - What's In It For Me? A good question, not appreciated by management.
WIT - Works In Theory. But never in practice.
WOS - Waste of Space. Unaffectionate term for ineffective staff.
WTFP - What's The F**king Point. Response to being asked to write a 100 page document you know no-one is ever going to read.
WYSIWYG - What You See Is What You Get. Computer lingo.
YUPPIE - Young Upwardly-mobile Professional. Another classic and universally known acronym, and like RADAR is not actually a true acronym. - But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. Medical speak for annoying patients.