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53 posters

    Koleksi Lawak

    Mr TR
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    Post by Mr TR Thu May 28, 2009 6:50 am

    Mahasiswi psikologi




    Seorang gadis, hitam manis, duduk di sebuah restoran di sebuah hotel.....

    "Apa kabar dik?, boleh saya belanja anda minum?", tawar seorang lelaki muda yang menghampirinya.

    "Apa? masuk ke hotel?" teriak si gadis.

    "Bukan, bukan. Jangan salah faham. Saya hanya offer nak belanja minuman......" jawab pemuda itu.

    "Abang meminta saya menemanimu ke hotel?" teriak si gadis dengan sangat kuat hingga ramai pengunjung lain mendengar. Merasa ditolak, dengan perasaan malu, lelaki muda itu beringsut dan duduk di sudut ruangan. Semua orang di restoran menatap lelaki itu dengan sinis dan mencebik.

    Beberapa minit kemudian, si gadis menghampiri si lelaki muda itu. "Maafkan saya bang. Saya sedang menyamar. Sebenarnya, saya adalah seorang mahasiswi psikologi yang sedang mempelajari tingkah laku manusia di situasi yang tidak dikehendakinya." gadis itu cuba menerangkan. Si laki-laki menatap dengan dingin. Kemudian berteriak dengan amat kerasnya,

    Lalu lelaki itu menjawab dengan kuat "Berapa? Lima ratus ringgit, yang putih melepak pun hanya Rm 100.00 je!!! ?"

    Semua org dalam restoran itupun memandang gadis itu sambil menggelengkan kepala dan lebih mencebik sinis.
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    Post by Eman Leto Thu May 28, 2009 7:11 am

    Mr TR wrote:rasanya cite nie blom ada kt thread nie lg...



    Spoiler:
    errr... cm cite hajime je?hehe ko kwn hajime ke?
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    Post by kindaichi_hajime Thu May 28, 2009 6:35 pm

    erk?
    ble nyer tu citer aku?
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    Post by teri-chan Thu May 28, 2009 11:17 pm

    kindaichi_hajime wrote:erk?
    ble nyer tu citer aku?

    bukan cite ko ke? sapa eh yg cerita dia bg jam loceng hadiah perkahwinan kawan dia
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    Post by teri-chan Thu May 28, 2009 11:28 pm

    oh... lupa nk tmbh.. cerita kelakar aku ari ni...


    aku n the gang g mkn kat terminal cyberjaya.. dlm tgh2 mkn n borak2 tu tetibe kwn aku Si A (bukan nama sebenar) bertanya kan kat member aku ni lelaki la... dia tanya "Amir, kalu ko, nk pkai tak seluar mcm tu?"

    aku ni tgh mkn aku tanya la member aku... "Seluar apa?"

    kawan aku ni A pun ckp "pandang depan" aku pun pandang la depan...aku tgk makcik pkai suar pjg kaler itam.. aku kata ok je seluar dia.

    member aku kata "depan aku la..." aku pun pandang la belakang sbb A ni mengadap aku... apa yg aku nmpk ialah...

    lelaki yg sedang duduk dibelah kananku dengan seluar jeansnya yg tersingkap hingga setengah punggungnya n menampakkan seluar boxer bercorakkan CHERRY!!

    ya aku ulangi... lelaki yg sedang duduk ngn machonya smbil menghisap rokok memakai seluar boxer bercorakkan cherry haahahha!!! aku leh gelak smpai nk tercekik nasi hahaha.. even skang aku sedang menaip cerita ni pun aku tergelak sbb aku tak dpt lupakan seluar cherry dia tu hahah!!!

    apara.. muka ensem suar dalam corak cherry... awek lawa lak tu hahahah!!! nasib bek cherry.. kalu spongebob aku gilek lg kuat kot hahaha!!!

    hohoho.. so funny...

    so guys.. kalu nk bergaya sgt jgn la pkai seluar smpai nk tertanggal suar tu.. n make sure brand suar dalam tu mahal hahahha!!!
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    Post by MalaYneuMaya Fri May 29, 2009 12:01 am

    assalamualaikum...

    ma'aih malunya.. Laughing
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    Post by Aku Tak Sengal Fri May 29, 2009 2:52 am

    wahahaha.. malu giler kalo control macho habis tp kantoi sluar dlm ..


    The Break In

    A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

    “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.


    “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!“
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    Post by Mr TR Fri May 29, 2009 3:15 am

    huhuhu
    lps nie kena hati2 la...
    seb baik aku x minat pakai suar jns londeh2 nie...
    hehe
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    Post by Mr TR Fri May 29, 2009 3:31 am

    Gigi Palsu Mah
    Ader pasangan yang dah berumur, kira dah tua la... anak2 semuer dah besar2.. masuk universiti..kata orang tinggal berdua jer la.. honeymoon hehehehe... Satu malam tu... dok la pasangan nie tadi menonton tv.... dok syok tengok tv...tup ..tup ..si suami nie kata la kat isteri dia....
    "Mah,mah..... " kata si suami...
    "Ya bang," lembut jer jawab siisteri...
    "anak2 semua dah besar... semua dah tak duduk ngan kita, kan Mah?"
    "Kenaper plak, bang. abang rindu kat diorang plak ker?"
    "Tak der la Mah, " ujar si suami
    "Dah tu...kenaper plak bang?".. isteri menanya. .heran gak...kot...
    "Tak ... abang teringat maser kita muda2 dulu.... mah suka gigit telinga abang, kan...
    ""Cuba Mah gigit skit..abang nak raser..lamer dah Mah tak buat camtu..."
    Mendengar saja kata2 si suami tu tadi... maka berlari la si isterinya tadi kedlm bilik....
    "Mah..kenaper Mah?" "Mah tak sayang abang ker Mah?" soal si suami...
    siisteri didalam bilik tadi tak menjawab...agak lama lepas tu.. si suami memanggil
    " Mah...ooo..Mah.. dah la tu.. jangan la merajuk...meh la kita tengok tv nie... tak per la..Mah tak nak gigit pun tak per la...keluar la Mah, Mah marah ker Mah?"
    si suami risau takut menyinggung perasaan isteri kesayangannyer itu...
    "Tak bang, Mah tak marah"..jawab si isteri dari dlm bilik...
    " Dah tu, kenaper Mah dok dlm bilik tu..Meh la kita tengok tv nie..." kata si suami..

    Jeng..jeng...jeng... nak tau aper kata si isteri............?




    Mah tengah cari gigi palsu, bang!"
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    Post by zirbad Fri May 29, 2009 12:09 pm

    Mr TR wrote:Gigi Palsu Mah
    Ader pasangan yang dah berumur, kira dah tua la... anak2 semuer dah besar2.. masuk universiti..kata orang tinggal berdua jer la.. honeymoon hehehehe... Satu malam tu... dok la pasangan nie tadi menonton tv.... dok syok tengok tv...tup ..tup ..si suami nie kata la kat isteri dia....
    "Mah,mah..... " kata si suami...
    "Ya bang," lembut jer jawab siisteri...
    "anak2 semua dah besar... semua dah tak duduk ngan kita, kan Mah?"
    "Kenaper plak, bang. abang rindu kat diorang plak ker?"
    "Tak der la Mah, " ujar si suami
    "Dah tu...kenaper plak bang?".. isteri menanya. .heran gak...kot...
    "Tak ... abang teringat maser kita muda2 dulu.... mah suka gigit telinga abang, kan...
    ""Cuba Mah gigit skit..abang nak raser..lamer dah Mah tak buat camtu..."
    Mendengar saja kata2 si suami tu tadi... maka berlari la si isterinya tadi kedlm bilik....
    "Mah..kenaper Mah?" "Mah tak sayang abang ker Mah?" soal si suami...
    siisteri didalam bilik tadi tak menjawab...agak lama lepas tu.. si suami memanggil
    " Mah...ooo..Mah.. dah la tu.. jangan la merajuk...meh la kita tengok tv nie... tak per la..Mah tak nak gigit pun tak per la...keluar la Mah, Mah marah ker Mah?"
    si suami risau takut menyinggung perasaan isteri kesayangannyer itu...
    "Tak bang, Mah tak marah"..jawab si isteri dari dlm bilik...
    " Dah tu, kenaper Mah dok dlm bilik tu..Meh la kita tengok tv nie..." kata si suami..

    Jeng..jeng...jeng... nak tau aper kata si isteri............?




    Mah tengah cari gigi palsu, bang!"

    Hahaha...aku pernah baca lawak ni,tapi versi lain,tapi ending dia sama.
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    Post by ztecon Fri May 29, 2009 12:24 pm

    teri-chan wrote:oh... lupa nk tmbh.. cerita kelakar aku ari ni...


    aku n the gang g mkn kat terminal cyberjaya.. dlm tgh2 mkn n borak2 tu tetibe kwn aku Si A (bukan nama sebenar) bertanya kan kat member aku ni lelaki la... dia tanya "Amir, kalu ko, nk pkai tak seluar mcm tu?"

    aku ni tgh mkn aku tanya la member aku... "Seluar apa?"

    kawan aku ni A pun ckp "pandang depan" aku pun pandang la depan...aku tgk makcik pkai suar pjg kaler itam.. aku kata ok je seluar dia.

    member aku kata "depan aku la..." aku pun pandang la belakang sbb A ni mengadap aku... apa yg aku nmpk ialah...

    lelaki yg sedang duduk dibelah kananku dengan seluar jeansnya yg tersingkap hingga setengah punggungnya n menampakkan seluar boxer bercorakkan CHERRY!!


    assalammmualaikum...

    isshhh..ciat pasal suar dalam lak....
    ya aku ulangi... lelaki yg sedang duduk ngn machonya smbil menghisap rokok memakai seluar boxer bercorakkan cherry haahahha!!! aku leh gelak smpai nk tercekik nasi hahaha.. even skang aku sedang menaip cerita ni pun aku tergelak sbb aku tak dpt lupakan seluar cherry dia tu hahah!!!

    apara.. muka ensem suar dalam corak cherry... awek lawa lak tu hahahah!!! nasib bek cherry.. kalu spongebob aku gilek lg kuat kot hahaha!!!

    hohoho.. so funny...

    so guys.. kalu nk bergaya sgt jgn la pkai seluar smpai nk tertanggal suar tu.. n make sure brand suar dalam tu mahal hahahha!!!


    assalammmualaikum...

    ishhh cite pasal suar dalam lak...

    Mad
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    Post by TOYSЯUS Fri May 29, 2009 12:35 pm

    @teri-chan
    Mesti seluar cherry dia macam ni kan:
    Spoiler:
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    Post by raidizh AR Fri May 29, 2009 12:43 pm

    kalo ak cakap mungkin agak pelik

    tp kalo ak ngn klasmet g trip, kn kdg2 ad gak g tp pntai

    ak tgk member2 ak ade je pkai boxer pelik2

    n teri..spongebob pn ade...heheheh...ak xmemain
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    Post by MalaYneuMaya Fri May 29, 2009 1:02 pm

    assalamualaikum...

    dah la..boxer pon nak dibincang sgt...siol la 11's..rajin plak dia search menatang tu Laughing
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    Post by raidizh AR Fri May 29, 2009 1:41 pm

    while out golfing one day, a young couple watched in horror as a stray shot crashed through the window of a nearby house. rushing up, they saw a handsome man in turban.

    "we're terribly sorry!" the husband said

    "we'll pay for the damage,". the wife added

    "not at all," replied the man. "i'm a genie, trapped for a thousand years until your golf ball came through the window and broke the bottle that was my prison. please allow me to grant whatever you wish.

    the atonished couple asked to become scratch golfers. "it is done!" cried the genie, snapping his fingers. then they asked to become rich. clapping his hands, the genie said, "i have set up a standing order to put $100,000 into your account every month for life."

    "how can we ever thank you?" said the husband.

    "there is one thing," replied the genie. " i have been improsoned for a thousand years and i have forgotten what it is like to hold a woman in my arms. if you could spare your beautiful wife for a single night...". the husband and wife decided they could live with this.

    after a night of passion, the young wife was about to rejoin her husband when the genie asked her age. "twenty-nine," she replied.

    "i see," he said, "and you still believe in genies?"

    -contributed by isaac brown-readers digest-
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    Post by raidizh AR Fri May 29, 2009 1:53 pm

    three friends arrive at the pearly gates at the same time. as part of their orientation to heaven, st. peter asks what kind of remarks they would like to hear from their family and friends at their funerals.

    "i would like to hear them say i was a great doctor and a good family man," swaid the first.

    "i would like to hear that i was a wonderful husband and that, during my career as a schoolteacher, i made a difference in many lives," chimed in the second fellow.

    "those both sound terrific." replied the third, "but i'd like to hear them say, 'look! he's moving!!'"

    -contributed by pat patel-readers digest-
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    Post by Aku Tak Sengal Fri May 29, 2009 4:04 pm

    TRAFFIC CAMERA

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

    Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
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    Post by Aku Tak Sengal Fri May 29, 2009 4:31 pm

    Free Fridge

    Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:

    “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.”

    For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.

    It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:

    “Fridge for sale $50.”

    The next day someone stole it!




    (sumber: rembat kt mane2)
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    Post by MalaYneuMaya Fri May 29, 2009 4:57 pm

    assalamualaikum...

    Spoiler:

    laa..senangnya kena kelentong bini dia..

    Spoiler:

    haha betul jugak tu...nak idop balik..

    Spoiler:

    salah seniri..dah tu bodoh pulak Laughing

    Spoiler:

    bijak2..pemalas betul...campak je la mana2...
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    Post by teri-chan Sat May 30, 2009 12:54 am

    ??????????? wrote:@teri-chan
    Mesti seluar cherry dia macam ni kan:
    Spoiler:


    haahha!!! yelah!!! samalah!!!
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    Post by kindaichi_hajime Sat May 30, 2009 2:23 am

    hahaha..
    boxer pn bleh jd topic hangat ke...
    hehehe
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    Post by teri-chan Sat May 30, 2009 10:15 am

    hahahha sape suh dia tayang kat org pastu siap dok macho pulak tu.. ptt dia malu... pkai suar londeh2 ni takde bagusnya.
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    Post by TOYSЯUS Sat May 30, 2009 10:27 am

    Confirm teri pasni takde selera nak makan kek yang ade cherry..!! Hahaha.
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    Post by teri-chan Sat May 30, 2009 11:03 am

    hahaha ceh!! hahaha


    Anak siapa??

    Suzy menyampaikan hasrat hatinya kepada bapanya untuk berkahwin dengan
    Robert, Jejaka pilihannya yang juga adalah jiran dan teman sepermainannya sejak
    kecil lagi.
    Suzy :Ayah, Robert melamar saya. Kami mahu berkahwin.
    Ayah :Apa? Tidak boleh! Kamu boleh berkahwin dengan sesiapa saja kecuali
    Robert.
    Suzy:Tapi mengapa?
    Ayah : (Separuh berbisik) Kerana Robert sebenarnya adalah abangmu.Tapi,
    jangan beritahu ibumu ye! Terkejut dengan jawapan itu,suzy pergi pula
    kepada ibunya.
    Suzy :Ibu, Ayah melarang saya berkahwin dengan Robert.
    Ibu :Tak usah dengar cakap ayah kamu tu. Kamu boleh kahwin dengan sesiapa
    yang kamu suka termasuk Robert.
    Suzi :Tapi kata ayah, Robert itu abang saya.Adik beradik kan tak boleh
    kahwin.
    Ibu : (Separuh berbisik) Hmmm....Ayah kamu pun tak tahu kamu bukan
    anaknya.
    Suzy :Ha!!??!!
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    Post by Aku Tak Sengal Sat May 30, 2009 2:03 pm

    Lupa Nama Isteri

    Satu hari Ahmad melawat rumah sepupunya yang baru berkahwin bernama Yop dan bercadang untuk tinggal semalaman di rumah Yop.
    Yop : Sayang, sediakan minuman untuk sepupu abang nie.
    Isteri : Baik, bang.Kemudian, tiba pula waktu makan malam.
    Yop : Intan payung, sediakan makan malam untuk sepupu abang nie sekali yek.
    Isteri : Baik, bang.
    Selepas larut malam, Yop memanggil isterinya lagi.
    Yop : Adindaku, sediakan bilik tetamu untuk sepupu abang nie tidur.
    Isteri : Baik, bang.
    Isteri pun berlalu pergi.
    Ahmad : Iskh, romantiknyer korang nie yek. adinda la, sayang la, Intan payung la... ..
    Yop : Eh, takder la. Aku lupa nama bini aku jer.

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    Koleksi Lawak - Page 8 Empty Re: Koleksi Lawak

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      Current date/time is Mon Nov 18, 2024 6:26 am